Because Of Her
by A Reviewing Reader
Summary: She presses the folder and notebook to her chest, glancing back at everyone who has turned away from her. Everyone who has shut her out. All because of Nina. Rated T for themes and language.


-Joy's POV-

I lean in closer. Closer. So close I can feel his breath fanning over my face. Is he really going to kiss me? Really? Can it actually happen-

"I can't," he whispers.

My entire body has already been a solid chunk of ice ever since he came in, and with those words, I shatter. He moves away from me quickly, as if he has touched a hot pan or something, and stares into my eyes.

"It's Nina, isn't it? Your still not over her, are you?" I ask, my voice barely audible.

I know his answer already. He nods-that is obvious, isn't it?

And I know my eyes are shining with tears, but I look down for a moment to blink them all away. I press my lips together and turned back to him. His face is full of regret and sadness . . . But why? He chose her, he chose Nina, over _me_ . . .

"I'm sorry," he apologizes.

Why should you be sorry? You chose her over me, it is always her over me, isn't it? I want to scream, but honestly . . . I can't yell at my Fabes. I just can't.

I avoid his eyes; I can not look at them. Those gorgeous blue eyes that are one of the first things I noticed about him. Those eyes that always seem to stare deep into my soul . . . Oh God, I've been reading too much of Patricia's poetry.

"You okay?" I hear him say from across the room, at the door, preparing to shut the door on anything we could have had.

I laugh, with no emotion in my voice. It is a hard, painful laugh that expresses everything I am feeling at the moment; I am feeling nothing but pain.

"I'm fine," I choke out, a strained smile on my face. "I'm Joy, 'member?"

Fabian gives me one last concerned look, and then I hear footsteps dashing away. Nina has been listening in. Well, I do not blame her . . . I would have, too.

When he does not close the door, I honestly don't mind. I exhale a shaky breath that I do not realize I have been holding in. A tear falls, and I silently swear .

Why am I crying? I knew it was going to happen, it is always going to be Nina. He always hangs out with her, he always talks to her about this and that, he always comforts her-even though they break up. It is always her. It is Nina-every time.

"Hey Patricia, are you in here-" Mara calls into the room, but then she sees me. "Joy. Are-Are you okay?"

I laugh again: that awful, terrible laugh that is so fake. Does anyone really notice my mock laughter? Does anyone realize that I am hurting?

"Mara, thanks, but I'm fine," I say, brushing her off. I don't need to talk to anyone. Solitude is what I need; to be alone is the best answer.

"Are you sure? You-You're crying," she says softly. Mara walks toward me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I suddenly realize that there is moisture running down my face. I stand up abruptly, putting a hand in front of my eyes to try and stop the tears from flowing. Another trait I have picked up from Patricia: don't let _anyone_ see your emotions, unless it is anger.

"Thanks, but I've got to go," I say in a rush.

"Joy-" she starts.

But I rush out before I can hear her say anything else. I run into the bathroom and slam the door closed, locking it before I slump on the toilet seat.

. . .

"Joy? Joy. Come on out, please?" Mara implores as she knocks on the bathroom door.

I look up, crying out, "Just go away, Mara! I want to be alone!"

"No, I'm not leaving. I want to know what happened," Mara says forcefully.

I roll my eyes, but stand and unlock the door. "There," I say, looking her straight in the eye. "You happy now?"

"Joy," she sighs. She shakes her head, but closes the door behind her.

Taking my hands in her own, she squeezes them reassuringly. "Now, tell me what's going on. Please?"

"It's Fabian, okay? There's nothing else to say." I remove my hands from hers.

"Tell me all about it," Mara insists. "I have time."

I exhale. "I'll start at the beginning: the first day of this term.

* * *

><p>I have so many other stories to finish, I know I know . . . But after seeing Tuesday's episode, I had to write this. The words may not be exactly correct, because I was an idiot because I deleted the recorded episode on my DVR and the episode is not on Nick's website yet . . .<p>

And I wanted to post this now because I am letting everyone know that I am going to be a bit MIA on Fanfiction for the next week . . . and also, I am deleting one of my stories "One Last Chance." I may repost it again, but right now, I need to get the ideas sorted out and outline it in the way that I want the story to go.

Also, sorry this is so short. I tried making it longer, but to no avail . . . this episode had little room for Joy angst. :(

So thanks so much for reading, you guys are awesome. :D Please review? Please?


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